celibacy 1

Christmas is over, and there will be no more gifts for me for a while, particularly as my birthday is in December! But lets not forget, there are other gifts for us to enjoy that don’t require the removal of wrapping paper.

During 2012 I did an online test to ascertain my ‘spiritual gifts’. There were a series of multiple choice questions in the test each followed by four “ticky boxes”. I’m sure you know the kind of thing I mean.

The options “always”, “often”, “seldom” and “never” would generally fail to articulate anyone’s exact feelings about most questions! But despite working with this limited choice of words I gritted my teeth and pushed through to the end of the test!  One hundred and forty questions later, the full mix was revealed and I found out how “spiritually gifted” I apparently am! I have to say that the results revealed were actually quite accurate.

There are Numerous spiritual gifts in the bible. Some gifts on the list you would expect to be spiritual like prophecy and faith, and others, on the face of it sound more practical like hospitality and administration. Of the thirty gifts catalogued in the list, situated at the top of the league, I had that most welcome of heavenly offerings: the “gift” of celibacy. Like you, at first glance, I could have initially seen this gift as a curse but I would be mistaken indeed to view it as such!

The writer of the majority of the New Testament was a guy called Paul, and he labelled his celibate state as a gift in the passage below.

1 Corinthians 7 :7

“I wish that all of you were as I am (celibate). But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.”

The truth is, I have found contentment in my singleness for some time now, and I may have to acknowledge at some point that this celibate life is Gods gift to me permanently.

I am a 32 year old Christian man who has quietly struggled with major conflicts  surrounding the expression of my sex life for years! Over this period of time my convictions have been stretched to the nth degree. Though a practising Christian, intermittently pornography, sexual intimacy and lust blind-sided me and these conflicts lasted for YEARS until something happened to me that changed my trajectory forever! What was it? I will reveal the detail of this at another time, but let me put this juxtaposition into perspective; in February of 2013 I will commemorate 3 years of life without an orgasm. This is a distinct difference from life pre February 2010.

As I have drawn deeper into my relationship with Jesus, I have found that this relationship has become enough to sustain me. As difficult as this will be for many people to understand, I truly believe celibacy will remain my reality until I one day get married (if I ever do!).

I could waffle on and give more detail about my decision to remain bone dry…Suffice to say that I have never been happier or more fulfilled than I find myself in my current celibate state.

I have decided to post some of my musings about celibate life on this blog. (Depending of course on the demand from those who read them) blogs will continue as I find time to update.

Some of you will also know that I have just finished writing a book. This document will open up my personal journey into my current state and my conflicts and theology about it too. The book is fully written on my part and currently in the editorial stages.

By subscribing to my blog you will find out more information about the book’s publication in 2013.

For those of you who are interested. I have posted the link to the spiritual gifts test below for your own experimentation!


11 thoughts on “Gifted with a sexless future?

  1. Hi, I just heard you speak on CBC THe Current on your celibacy. Thank you for being so honest and straight forward about the issue!
    I am 28 and have been married 5 years. When my husband and I were dating we both struggled with living righteously and I remember praying to God about why we have such strong feelings, lusts and hormones and how do we deal with them and God kind of revealed to me a link between the passion the Holy Spirit has for creating,(heck, he created the whole word right!) and our passion for each other. Their is a link in the beauty of making life. Anyway, I thought I’d share that with you as I think you’d ‘get’ it, as you probably already know, not everyone does, sadly, even other Christians sometimes.
    Carry on and keep your ears open and your heart soft!

    • Hi Laura,
      I’m glad you listened to and enjoyed the interview, i can totally relate to your journey. I really appreciate you taking the time out to comment on this.. I pray that your marriage would be totally and massively blessed!

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