Your eggs are shrivelling. Your clock is ticking.Your sperm are mutating! Your prostate is enlarging. Your family photo is fading. Your emotional health is failing. You don’t have a life, and you don’t have a wife! Fulfilment is retreating incrementally with the passing of every day. Welcome to the life of a Christian single, or even worse, “the celibacy club”! So go the lyrics of songs sung by the cynical, those blind to the merit of this lesser travelled way of life.
I have to admit, I’ve hummed certain refrains from these tunes myself; they form a catchy (if a little melancholic) melody. But meditating on these haunting lines would be a huge and detrimental distraction, not to mention a total oversight of another more important underlying truth:
Beneath the natural desires of my physical body there rests a passion deeper and even more pressing than sex. This need is ignored by many, and though it may be temporarily submerged, it can never be met by an alternative. What is it? What could possibly be more desirable for an amiable single man like me than an afternoon “rolling in the hay” with a beautiful woman? It’s quite simple, it’s called “the presence of God”. If you have never experienced it, you will have no frame of reference for it, but this presence, which is birthed out of relationship with Jesus, has become the staple ingredient of my daily diet. It’s a thrilling, empowering and transforming component of life and it has no comparison. It needs to experienced and explored.
Not everyone buys into the bible, but for those of us that count it as our manual for life, we know that in the beginning God created (among other things) man… Before the fairer sex arrived on the scene It was just God and Adam who walked in the garden of Eden in the cool of the day. God desired relationship with man before man’s need for relationship with woman was ever even known. This relationship between man and God was enough to sustain Adam until the arrival of the very elegant Eve. Even when she arrived, it would still be crucial for the depth of that relationship to remain.
I’m not saying you cannot be married and have a meaningful relationship with God. The reality is though that when you find yourself in a single state, and you channel your focused attention purely on God, it’s easier to plumb the depths of that relationship without distraction.
For me, the past three years of celibacy have been “a walk in the park” or perhaps they could be better described as ”a walk in the garden” I have been drawing all of my strength from daily steps with the gardener. My daily connection with Jesus never disappoints, It releases total fulfilment and contentment; satisfied emotional health – trickle charging while you wait!
The songs of the cynical will never bother, worry or interrupt me, I am singing a different song that echoes with a deep resonance, and will not be silenced even by cries of ”mutant sperm” or “retreating fulfilment”. I am listening to one voice, the gardener; I know his voice, and only he could ever introduce me to my Eve. I would never rule out marriage completely, but unless she enters wearing a leaf ensemble I won’t be interested!