“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.”
On a cold winter night, it is a mathematical certainty that many men, Christian or otherwise, will find a sense of satisfaction through certain distractive measures… For many (though they may not admit to it – and you may not appreciate me mentioning it) this will involve a tub of lube and some “adult” video material, or was it only me that diarised my time to include this particular type of interruption? Porn sandwiched between midweek church attendance and Friday night prayer meetings is not as uncommon as you might think amongst church goers! Needless to say, this has not featured on my calendar or to do list for quite some time…
1 Corinthians 7:8-9
“To the unmarried… I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
If you cannot “exercise self-control” if you are “burning with passion” then apparently you should get married! Is this really the best idea? As for me personally, I would not want to be married to somebody tussling with this two pronged Goliath! What a great opening line for a proposal to your prospective wife! “I am unable to control myself – I can’t stop looking at porn and playing away, my penis is permanently grafted into my hand , I have sex on the brain – let’s get married!”
As the soon-to-be wife, aren’t you just brimming with confidence about the opportunity for success in this relationship!
There are probably some people who actually would find misplaced confidence in the elevated sex drive of a potential spouse! Those under the misconception that the lack of self-control evident in their partner is due to the animal magnetism being projected by themselves! The obvious irresistible beauty on display is sufficient explanation. This is a misplaced confidence indeed. The truth is, if your partner has a self-control issue, getting married to you is not going to change that!
Though the Apostle Paul makes the concession, for people struggling in this way to get married I wouldn’t recommend it! My opinion would be that it makes more sense to find self-control in intimacy with God before you say “I do”!
Self-control is not as elusive as some might think! Self-control is actually something that grows on us as we exercise it. As far as the bible is concerned, this is a “fruit of the Spirit”. So perhaps we should not be lazy in our flexing of this muscle!
As you draw near to God, he will draw near to you. This is good news because it means that we can expect him to develop us in areas that have become stagnant and require attention. For most of us, self-control fits this bill!
Self-control is not something only required for someone single or celibate. You need this tool in married life too! It is a key part of your moral inventory! It is not only limited to sexuality! It has far wider reaching benefits! – This is a holistically beneficial fruit! My experience has become that self-control is “tangible”, am i overly optimistic? I don’t think so!
Please discuss your own insight about this topic… I certainly have not written an extensive post here: